I haven't blogged much since Noah was born. You may think it's simply because I'm too busy with three kids. That may be a small part of it, but more than that is the reality that I've felt a bit anxious about this blog space.
As much as I hate it, I am a people pleasing junkie! This blog makes me feel vulnerable. I'm so worried about what ya'll think of me. You have no idea the crazy conversations I have in my head about various blog post ideas. What if they think I'm too conservative? What if I'm too liberal? What if they think my creative ideas are trash? What if I say something that sounds unintelligent? What if my opinions come across too strong? If I write about things I'm proud of will others feel "less than"? What if I write about my kids too much? Do I have decent enough photos? Did I post too many photos? Who reads this anyway? And that is only the start. I usually end up talking myself out of whatever I was considering writing about (though for some reason I did feel comfortable telling you about my placenta consumption).
However, yesterday, I had the luxury of a day away. Noah and I traveled to Wichita where I was able to spend a refreshing day with my friend, Brooke. You really should check out her blog...she is a hoot...and she doesn't seem to have the same issues with blogger paranoia. While together, we perused The Cottage Collective. It is a new store in which my sister-in-law, Tiffany, sells some of her handmade goods. It is super cute and whimsical.
During my time away, I felt so encouraged to take more risks; to live more colorfully. I am so self-censoring! So, I can't promise how frequently I'll post, but I really do hope to start contributing to this space more often. I want to be risky here. I want to trust that I have something good to offer and that by doing so, I will fall into an ocean of grace. Much of what I write will continue to be about our kids, my creative projects, our house, everyday life, and some of my thoughts about life, but who knows what else might come up. So, anyway, here is to my public pursuit of being vulnerable!
Cheryl's Birthday
2 years ago
5 comments:
I've put more of myself out there than I would prefer, knowing there might be some risks. Thankfully, thus far, God has protected me from any mean comments. If anyone had them I'm happy that they kept them to themselves.
I've missed your blogs and seeing the glimpses into your lives.
go for it!!!! You have NEVER sounded anything except for facinatingly wonderful :)
And I'm serious about sending me pics of your house renovation. I can't wait to see it in person, but for now pictures will have to do!
It's wonderful to read this, Carmen! I always appreciate your honesty. As you probably know... I have quit blogging. It was for two reasons: time restraints (been a lot busier than ever) and PRESSURE. It's mostly pressure, right, because we make time for things we're really excited about. I often have these ideas that I want to blog about, but I don't want to have to censor myself and think about how everyone will take what I'm saying. I wanted my blog to be this space where I could have creative space to "think out loud." I offended my mother-in-law once about a silly book and now... well, I might start up another blog if I didn't use my real name. ;) I'm excited for you that you have a new surge of creativity. What a joy it is to have Brooke for encouragement! I can't wait to read and follow your journey! Btw, I told a friend of mine about your placenta capsules... and she opened up to me (before afraid that everyone else thinks she's weird) that her midwife froze her placenta in chunks and she blended pieces of it in smoothies. ;) Wow, right? Thanks for being you, Carmen. I miss you.
Angela
We can only be BLESSED to know the real person that God made in you, Carmen! You should be you here, not only because we love you (I do!) but primarily because your Creator does. And your identity and value are not on the chopping block. It's a done deal. The more I get to see the true Carmen, the more blessed I am. :)
I love reading your blog and are disappointed when I open it and there are no new entries. I really enjoy your how well you express your thoughts. I just wish I was half as good as you are. Grandpa can never get enough pictures of your children and their creations. I do show them off some at work....that is a grandpa's right. Love you and God Bless all of you!!
Dad
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