How long is too long to let your toddler go without a bath? I want to know because Hannah's baths have become traumatic in our home. I don't know exactly when or why the switch flipped, but what used to be a pretty enjoyable part of life now begs to be avoided at all costs! When it's bath time Hannah screams and protests, clings tightly to her blankie, and physically fights getting into the water. If you were to witness this, I think you'd agree that her actions seem to stem from incredible fear...she acts like she is begging for her life. And then once she is in the water, all she will do is stand up, crying hysterically, and try to climb out...and don't even get me started about trying to wash her hair (never before have I wished she didn't have any hair).
Yesterday I attempted to bath her in the morning by myself. I was hoping that a fully rested little girl might be more accommodating than she is in the evenings, but I was wrong. She acted more terrified than ever and when we were finally through and dressed, all she wanted to do for the next 20-30 minutes was snuggle and rock on my lap as if she needed an extra dose of comforting. WHEW!
So, now T and I are discussing how we proceed. It hasn't felt right to discipline her for her behavior that seems to stem from something she is really feeling...fear. And it seems ridiculous to fight with her through the process...you should just see us! But she does need the occasional cleaning. We are open to any ideas. What would you suggest? And really. How long is too long?
Cheryl's Birthday
2 years ago
14 comments:
as long as all her cracks and crevices (the diaper area) stay clean, i'd say in the winter you can definitely go 5, 7 days... we do, anyway! :) we've gone longer even :) (definitely with using toddler wipes at potty time rather than just tp)
sorry, i don't have any ideas of what to do, though! hopefully it'll be a short-lived phase!
Kenton went through this phase recently. It lasted about 3 weeks. Try switching it up a little and let her take a shower. She might find it a fun alternative :-)
Carmen. God bless you guys. Roslyn was never keen on bathtime (and still occassionaly has her moments). Jerry and I started getting in the tub with her....and it calmed her fears and she found it remarkably fun. Of course, that has stopped, and she now enjoys baths with Aly---but that is what we did....and it was much easier for me to just "bathe" with her while Jer was deployed. Also, and this goes against my desires of frugality--but taking her to buy a special bath toy---that she can only have when she acts like a big girl and gets in the tub without issue. Make it fun---let her get in while wearing her swimming suit...even let her put arm floaties on---make it fun. There is also a line of Crayola bath time toys--bathtub crayons, etc that are available at Target and Walmart...or a water baby doll?! Just emphasize the fun more than the pressing need. I would say (especially in the winter) that every other or every 3 days is good...although, I have a kiddos that LOVES to bathe--so I bathe them almost every night. Hope this helps. Keepp us posted.
ooh, ooh! we just went through this! sophia loves bathtime now. i actually use it now for play as a chance to wear her out... a month or two ago it was the same as hannah, screaming and crying with legitimate fear when we put her in the tub. and, she would only stand. no sitting and definitely no laying. the change happened after she went to the grandparents house. Mammaw would bathe her frequently, and I'm not sure what changed. my guess is new person bathing her, new tub, new toys... when she came back, she was by no means cured: she would get in without crying but wouldn't sit down. i got some cups and bowls and washable toys and tried not to pressure her during bath time, let her do her own thing. mostly play, very little washing. eventually, she just sort of grew out of it. now, she even lays on her belly in the bath. oh, but she must have bubbles. thanks, Mammaw.
as far as length goes, i say keep her butt, hands and face clean and as long as she doesn't break out in a strange rash don't worry about it! i doubt she'll be playing outside anytime soon. ;)
isn't it funny how kids can just flip those switches??? leaves us parents baffled. I agree with the shower- while one of you hold her, make it a game. We had success with bathing the kids together. I don't know if she has a little friend or cousin that would want a "bath party".. but if she see's someone she knows having fun, maybe she will want to join in. I don't bathe more than once a week at our house- in the winter they aren't sweaty- so you don't sweat it either! Hang in there and you are a great mom- good for you for not pushing it...shows lots of love and patience to me!
ok- i just read that and i worded it wrong... I do bathe more than once a week... my kids do not. HAHA! Well, somedays... ;)
So sorry to hear that bath time is so tough! I was going to suggest letting her wear her swimming suit and call it "swimming in winter"! You have this and many more great ideas already. This to shall pass, I'm sure...and then I will be calling when we enter this phase in the future!!!
I loved Kari's tip about buying a new toy that's for bath time only. I'm sorry you have to go through this. What a pain in the rear when you already have so much going on in your life!
Calvin went through this phase too, unfortunately it was in the summer and baths we unavoidable. It seemed to work best if Marvin gave him a bath, he did the best to distract him. If she's really afraid maybe you could try a small tub of water. We used a smaller tub with Calvin for a long time. Do bubbles freak her out? Also if you go the buy a new bath toy that she really loves route, make sure she knows it's only for bath time. Hang in there! It will pass, Calvin now begs for baths.
I know Aric loves taking a shower with Ryan. He darts in and out of the water stream and Ryan allows him to bring in toys to play with.
You might also allow her to bathe a baby doll in the bathtub to see that it's not all bad. Or have her do art projects in the bathtub. I read a blog recently where the mom brought in snow, put it in the bathtub and allowed her kids to play with it. When they got bored she gave them spray bottles filled with food coloring and water. Messy but it looked fun.
I hope you find something that works. I know it's no fun fighting with a toddler while pregnant!
We do about once a week (is that terrible?) and James still loves baths! He had such bad eczema last year that it dried his skin out even more. We have a Munchkin brand inflatable duck tub that James has bathed in ever since he could sit up. He's still in it. I can't guarantee she'd use it for many more months (b/c of her size--but I don't know how big she is, actually) but know you'd get great use out of it with Baby #2, etc. The bill of the duck quacks when squeezed..it's adorable. It's the kind of thing you could inflate in the living room/bedroom and have her play in a little and then transition into the bathtub. I like that it doesn't take up gobs of water to fill and that it's "padded" when James slips around a little. It was given as a gift but a little googling showed me they're sold at Target. It's an option, anyway!
well THe only thing I can think of that hasn't been suggested yet is if you have a baby doll toy Hannah can give a bath to. She can play the mommy & give the doll a bath while staying dry. Maybe bathe the doll in the sink or in a small bowl of water or even in the tub. Make it a game - let's give baby a bath, then at the end of the week ask her if she wants to take a bath with her doll. Could work (might not, who knows) but maybe if she remembers that bath time can be fun with toys and bubbles and splashing and that washing her dolls head isn't so bad maybe it won't be so bad for her either.
Good luck! Please tell us what works incase our little ones go on a bath strike!
I can't think of anything that hasn't already been said - but definitely keep us posted! I would love to know what you try and what (if anything!) works. Personally, I like the idea of take a bath or shower with her.
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